When the Holidays Hurt
Everywhere you look this time of year, the world tells you to be merry and bright. But maybe you’re just trying to make it through the day.
Let’s start here: the holidays don’t make pain pause.
They just decorate it.
You can love Jesus and still dread Christmas. You can be grateful and still feel hollow. You can hold faith in one hand and sadness in the other — and that doesn’t make you broken; it makes you human.
Maybe this is your first Christmas after a divorce.
Maybe your kids won’t be with you this year.
Maybe someone you love is gone, or your marriage feels colder than the weather.
If any of that sounds like you, I want you to know this: you’re not the only one. And there are gentle, practical, faith-rooted ways to walk through this season without pretending it doesn’t hurt.
1. Simplify What Matters
You don’t have to do it all. You don’t even have to like Christmas this year.
Hold on to what brings comfort or meaning, and let go of what drains you.
If you don’t love it and don’t have to do it — you don’t have to do it.
Give yourself permission to lower expectations and breathe.
Jesus came for weary hearts, not perfect homes.
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28
2. Create New Traditions
Maybe the way you used to celebrate doesn’t fit anymore. That’s okay.
You get to start fresh.
Light a new candle. Watch a favorite movie. Take a quiet walk on Christmas Eve. Do one thing that feels gentle and true for where you are right now.
New traditions don’t erase loss — they simply make space for healing to begin.
3. Plan for the Hard Days
If you know a certain day will be tough — plan for it now.
Make a list of small comforts:
• A friend you can text or FaceTime
• A drive with worship music
• Volunteering or attending a service
• A walk, a meal, or a moment outside
Grief grows louder in isolation, but it softens in connection.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18
4. Navigate Gatherings with Grace
If you still need to attend gatherings that feel heavy, go in with intention:
- Be kind, but protect your peace.
- Stay grounded in who you are.
- Remember: you can leave early if you need to. You’re an adult.
- Pray before you go. Ask Jesus to be your anchor and your peace.
You don’t have to perform; you just have to be present.
5. Rest as Resistance
Rest is not lazy. Rest is holy.
God Himself rested. And when you choose stillness over striving, you’re trusting that He’s still working — even when you stop.
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.”
— Isaiah 30:15
Block out time on your calendar just to breathe.
Take a nap, light a candle, do something that restores you.
Healing often begins when we stop trying to hold everything together.
6. Honor Grief and Change
You might be grieving a person, a marriage, or a dream that didn’t turn out the way you prayed.
Let yourself name what’s missing.
Light a candle, write a letter, skip a tradition that hurts too much.
You can honor what was and still be open to what is.
You can hold sorrow and gratitude at the same time.
“Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.”
— Psalm 126:5
7. Recenter What This Season Is Really About
The world sells glitter and perfection.
But Christmas has never been about perfection.
It’s about a weary world into which a Savior quietly came.
It’s about light showing up in darkness.
It’s about Emmanuel — God with us — not just when life is beautiful, but especially when it’s not.
So if all you can manage this year is to whisper, “Jesus, I need You,” that’s enough. That’s worship.
8. See Your Strength
Every day you get up, every prayer you whisper, every tear you shed — it all counts.
Healing doesn’t look like joy on demand.
Sometimes it looks like washing the dishes, calling a friend, or showing up for church when you didn’t feel like it.
The holidays are temporary.
Your resilience — and God’s faithfulness — are not.
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
— Psalm 73:26
A Blessing for You
May this season meet you where you are, not where the world says you should be.
May you find quiet moments of peace, honest prayers, and glimpses of joy that surprise you.
And may you remember: the same God who came near in Bethlehem still comes near to you now — right in the middle of your messy, beautiful, unfinished story.
“The holidays don’t make pain pause. They just decorate it.”
Let’s decorate gently this year — with peace, permission, and the quiet confidence that we’re not alone.
If the holidays bring more ache than joy, you don’t have to fake it. These 25 devotions offer honest prayers, Scripture, and comfort for your heart.
📖 Available here:
paperback: https://bit.ly/Holidays-for-the-Hurting-paperback